Ben and Lexi reminisce about the quintessential coming of age movies of our youth - kind of. Dork You Forget About Me find Ben and Lexi looking back at classic 80's teen movies. Both Lexi and Ben struggled to fit in with humans and had to turn to movies to learn how to be a teen, which means watching copious amounts of John Hughes! In this episode, Ben and Lexi dork out about classic John Hughes movies, which holding them up to the test of time. Have these movies aged well? Listen now and find out!

Show Notes:

Lexi and Ben talked about the following movies:

• Uncle Buck
• The Breakfast Club
• 16 Candles
• Pretty in Pink
• Home Alone
• Footloose
• Weird Science
• Ferris Bueller's Day Off
• Pump Up the Volume
• Can't Hardly Wait
• And more!

The  full list of John Hughes movies can be found here

You can find the episode of Art Intervention we mentioned here

We talked about  Margaret Atwood being a TERF and you can read about the 2018 conflict here and the more recent one here

SOCIALS:

Here's where you can find us!

• Lexi's website and twitter and instagram
• Ben's website and instagram and where to buy his book: Amazon.ca / Comixology / Ind!go / Renegade Arts
• Dork Matter's website(WIP) and twitter and instagram

If you're enjoying Dork Matters, we'd really appreciate a nice rating and review on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your pods. It would very much help us get this show to the other dorks out there.

“We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all.”

Transcript:

Lexi  00:00

One time I was driving to work and listening to like, you know, rap and I like aggressive hip hop, and I was listening--

Ben  00:08

[chuckles] Someday I'll ask you to define that, but not now.

Lexi  00:12

Okay, so, like, for example, I was listening to Run The Jewels one day, [Run The Jewels plays] which I wouldn't even classify as, like, super aggressive anyway, and I was trying to psych myself, like, "I gotta get in this building. I gotta be, like, in a good mood and talk to people all day," and so I was listening to it, fully cranked, and the windows were flexing, and I didn't realize there was just like a sea of children sitting there watching me, like, pound coffee, and try to, like, psych myself and, like, "Get out of the car, go inside,"  and it's just like, "Well, whoa, nope! Sorry, kids. I'm just gonna turn that off real quick". [music stops] I don't know what happened. [laughs]

Ben  00:50

I don't know how to get myself psyched up. When I worked in an office, I had about a 15- to 20-minute walk to work to, sort of like, just not be the person I normally am, and become work person. That didn't always work. I still a pretty grumpy shithead, usually. I don't like being bothered, and, you know, being in an office means you're just constantly bothered. It doesn't matter what you're trying to do.

Lexi  01:15

And you have to make small talk. Like, yuck.

Ben  01:17

Yeah, I had to learn how to do that. I've always been an introvert and making eye contact with people, when you have a conversation and just like... And so, I'm actually pretty good at just talking bullshit now with people. I don't like it. I don't like doing it. I don't like this other version of me is just talking to people, and I'm just like, "Eugh. Glad I'm not that guy."

Lexi  01:36

There are so many times where I'll finish doing, like, a presentation or having small talk with someone, and I'll go away and I'll be like, "Oh, she's terrible," and I'm referring to me. Like, I hate that part of me like, [upbeat] "Hey, how's it going?" I'm like, "Eugh! God."

Ben  01:51

Yeah. So that's an interesting thing with, like, being a stay-at-home parent now too, is like, I don't get to go to a different place and be a different person for a while, and divorce myself from who I think I am, versus the person I have to be in a work setting. Now, it's all just me, and it's all just gotta try to do well all the time.

Lexi  02:11

That sounds hard. Oh.

Ben  02:13

Can't phone it in like I used to when I'd go to the office. [laughs]

Lexi  02:17

Well, I mean, you could. You could just like plunk him in the laundry basket in front of the TV.

Ben  02:21

No. I mean, I'm incapable of doing that.

Lexi  02:24

That's good. That's good.

Ben  02:25

I am your Cyclops archetype. I am responsible to a fault. "No Fun Ben", I think, is what I  used to be called.

Lexi  02:33

Oh, I was the old wet blanket.

Ben  02:35

You know, you guys would be like, "Let's go to a party and get drunk." I'm like, "I don't know about that. I gotta be home by 9 PM and, you know, we're underage." [laughs]

Lexi  02:43

I do remember being at a party at your place when you lived with Brandon, and in the middle of the party, you did start doing dishes. [Ben laughs] I remember, I was like, "Hmm, this is interesting."

Ben  02:55

They were stacking up. You gotta keep 'em clean. You gotta keep them clean. That's just respectful to other people.

Lexi  03:00

Fun is fun, guys, but come on. Like, clean up after yourselves.

Ben  03:04

"No, no. Y'all keep having fun. I'll clean the dishes." That's a nice thing for me to do. [laughs]

Lexi  03:08

I was the wet blanket in terms of like, you know, at the sleepovers, I'd go, "Oh, it's getting late, ladies. It's probably some shut-eye time."

Ben  03:16

Oh, god. You're lucky you didn't get Sharpied every time.

Lexi  03:20

Those people, I think maybe they were like, "Is she...? Is she, like, you know...? Should we be nice to her because she's not all there?"

Ben  03:29

"The same as us."

Lexi  03:29

Yeah. And sometimes I kind of wondered, like, "Did they think that I am maybe on the spectrum or something?" which I kind of wonder if I am sometimes.

Ben  03:38

God, I wonder all the time if I am, and I'm not trying to say that as a joke. Like, I constantly--

Lexi  03:41

No, no.

Ben  03:43

--wonder if my inability to connect with people is something neurodivergent.

Lexi  03:49

Oh, do you do-- okay, sometimes I'll watch people. I'll watch-- like, especially when it comes to women, and when I was a teenager, I would watch groups of girls interact, and I felt like I was watching, like, a nature program. Like, "Ah. That is how the female species puts on makeup," and it never made sense to me to like go up to them and be like, "Hey, gals, let's all put our makeup on together." I was just, like, so awkward that I didn't understand how to talk to them.

Ben  04:18

Yeah. The thing for me was that I was just always felt on outside, as well. Like, I never felt like I had a group of friends in any situation. Part of that was moving schools a lot. Part of that was never feeling like I connected with other individuals. So yeah. No, I definitely should probably figure out if I'm--

Lexi  04:35

But I think that that's a great thing that people are learning more about themselves at all times because sometimes, like, I'll talk to adults that are like, "Well, I probably have a learning disability and that would have made school a lot easier, but what's the point in finding out now?" I'm like, "Well, why wouldn't you?"

Ben  04:51

How would that make... Well and, like, record scratch. [scratching record DJ-style] How would that make school more easy for you? Would you have had maybe more support? Maybe, but maybe not. It depends on where you were, what kind of, like, financial supports the school had, what your parents believed. Like, you know, there's no reason to think, like, if you have a disability, you have it easy. That's a wild take.

Lexi  05:11

Yeah, I think you can... You're right. Like, it depends on where you are, that you can access different types of supports, but I think we're also moving towards a more inclusive education model in the old Canada, where you should be treating everybody... It's like, it's technically universal design for learning where everybody should benefit from like, you know, flexible due dates, and, like, more understanding progressive assessment practices, because, yeah, like if you do have a disability, and you need a little bit more support, that's great, but if you don't, you can still get support, too, and that's fine, too.

Ben  05:49

Yeah.

Lexi  05:50

But, ah, that's interesting. This is maybe a good, like, introduction, though, because as teenagers when we were watching, trying to learn how to be a teenager, you turn to movies to try to understand, like, how to fit in.

Ben  06:05

Right. So the question is, like, "Should we have ever even looked at those other groups and people and been like, 'I'm supposed to be that way?' Or was that something we were taught by John Hughes and his movies?"

Lexi  06:18

Oh, John Hughes. I'm so conflicted.

Ben  06:21

So we're here tonight, as you've certainly guessed, to talk about '80s teen movies. You know 'em. You love 'em. We are going to revisit our memories of those movies, talk about some things that don't really hold up, some things that do just fine, and some things that are problematic and it matters to dorks. Wow, that was rough.

Lexi  06:47

That was-- I won't lie about it. It wasn't your best.

Ben  06:51

No, let's hit the theme song and let's try again after. [Lexi laughs] [theme music "Dance" by YABRA plays]

Ben  07:22

Welcome to Dork Matters--

Voiceover  07:24

[echoing] Dork Matters.

Ben  07:24

--the show by and for dorks, made by dorks, in a tree of dorks. We're like little dork elves, Keebler elves that make you dork cookies.

Lexi  07:34

Oh, I like that.

Ben  07:36

Yeah.

Lexi  07:36

That's a nice little image.

Ben  07:38

Yeah.

Lexi  07:39

We grow on trees.

Ben  07:40

[chuckling] Yeah, or are we are inside of trees, baking tree.

Lexi  07:44

Yeah, 'cause we don't like the outside so much.

Ben  07:46

No, I'm not an outside person. [Lexi laughs] I am your Dad Dork host, Ben Rankel, and with me, as always is...

Lexi  07:53

Your Movie Buff Dork, Lexi Hunt.

Ben  07:56

Oh, wow. No alliteration at all. You're just flying--

Lexi  07:59

Nah, just gettin' right in there. You know what? Fuck it.

Ben  08:03

You are going to have to be the movie buff dork tonight. I have tried to bone up on our subject, and I'm like, "Good God, I need a week to prepare for this by rewatching every single teen movie from the '80s," because that's what we're here to talk about tonight, or today, or whenever you're listening to this. Time is a flat circle. [chuckles] We're here to talk about teen movies of the '80s.

Lexi  08:26

[sing-songy] I love this episode.

Ben  08:30

The good, the bad, the ugly, the ones that hold up really well, the ones that do not hold up. We're gonna just shoot the shit on teen movies 'cause that's what we do.

Lexi  08:39

Oh, yeah.

Ben  08:40

We're gonna get a bunch of shit wrong, as usual, and that's half the fun here.

Lexi  08:44

Can I start by saying, like, how many movies did John Hughes create? My god, that man was prolific.

Ben  08:51

Yeah. So it depends on if we wanna look at whether he directed it, or produced it, or whatever, but if we just go by Wikipedia filmography, let's count these out. 1, 2, 3, 4... (fast-forwarded counting) 38. 38 different films.

Lexi  09:16

And a lot of them, like, I didn't actually know that he did some of them. Some of them, of course, I was like, "I knew that one. That's a John Hughes," but, like, Maid in Manhattan? What?

Ben  09:27

Yeah. Flubber.

Lexi  09:28

He was part of Flubber.

Ben  09:30

He was part of Flubber. He produced Flubber. Yeah, all the Home Alone’s, right up to Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House, that seminal classic. We watch it every year at Christmas. Not the earlier three Home Alone’s, just Home Alone 4, the one everyone remembers.

Lexi  09:47

Yeah, the one that went straight to VHS release.

Ben  09:50

Yeah. I think, unfortunately, it was even DVD at that point. Just DVD. [Lexi groans]

Lexi  09:55

But then there's so many great ones too, that... Actually, I was talking to John about, you know, "What movies did you guys watch when you were growing up that we you would classify as a teen movie?" and he was more in the action side of the '80s and '90s movies, so he was like, "I can talk to you about The Rock. How do you feel about that?" But not so much... I think he said that they watched Breakfast Club in school, which I find incredible. Like, "Why did you watch that in school?!" Like, listening to it, there's so many messed-up things like Emilio Estevez talks about supergluing a guy's butt crack together. Like, "I know, and I'm going to show my grade nines today." [chuckles theatrically]

Ben  10:38

And that's one of the tamer things that happens in that film, like, that doesn't hold up. [Lexi laughs] I mean, we might as well get into it. Let's start with the seminal classic, The Breakfast Club with, you know, the greatest brat cast that you've ever seen. Everyone has seen this movie. We all know how it ends, that jumping fist pump in the air. [Simple Minds "Don't You (Forget About Me)" plays]

Lexi  11:00

You can hear the music right now, can't you?

Ben  11:01

[sings] Don't you forget about me.

Lexi  11:03

And I gotta say, best soundtrack.

Ben  11:07

[sings] Forget about you.

Lexi  11:10

[sings] Don't you... [speaks] I also like that like weird slide guitar. [sings descending glissando, imitating slide guitar] That's a great '80s sound right there.

Ben  11:17

[chuckling] I want you to do it again. [Lexi sings imitation along with slide guitar] Nice. Let's start a band.

Lexi  11:23

I can play the mouth trumpet. [laughs] And that's... Okay, that sounds really dirty, but it's actually like... [sings melody, buzzing lips] [laughs]

Ben  11:29

I can play the mouth harp, as well, as long as we're embarrassing ourselves. [Lexi laughs] [harmonica plays] That's right. I play harmonica, as if I couldn't get any loser-ier. That's a word.

Lexi  11:37

Hey, man, I played the clarinet in the old high-school band for many years. [clarinet plays basic melody]

Ben  11:41

I think I played clarinet at one point, too, in the band.

Lexi  11:46

It's a great instrument. So Breakfast Club, which is weird, because Sixteen Candles... Okay, let's let's go through--

Ben  11:55

I feel like Sixteen Candles is probably the greatest offender of any teen movie--

Lexi  11:59

Oh.

Ben  11:59

--we're gonna talk about.

Lexi  12:00

It's so bad. Yeah.

Ben  12:03

And, you know, everyone loves Breakfast Club. I feel like maybe Sixteen Candles is a little less watched, still. I mean, we can talk about 'em both, but let's turn to Breakfast Club, first. Let's talk about some of the fucked-up shit that you remember happening and see if it's all true. You guys let us know if we make up anything.

Lexi  12:19

I couldn't get over the fact that, first of all, I was like, "Who the hell has detention on the weekend?" Because that's more of a punishment to the teachers than anything. Like--

Ben  12:29

Yeah, that's not happening.

Lexi  12:31

And what parent would be like, "Yeah"? Parents would be like, "No, I'm not doing that." [laughs]

Ben  12:37

Yeah, "You wanna keep my kid half an hour after school, that's one thing."

Lexi  12:42

Like, "Go nuts."

Ben  12:42

But yeah, they're not coming in on a weekend." And what teacher wants to do that? Like, you're not getting paid for that. Is that extra-curricular at that point? [Lexi blows through lips]

Lexi  12:50

I think that there's just so many issues with detention as-- like, that's a whole other issue. But to, like, spend your weekend... I know they're trying to demonstrate that, like, the character of-- god, what is his name? The assistant principal who hauls everybody in. It just shows what a miserable git he is. But, eugh, to me, like, that, already, I was like, "This movie is just setting me up for"--

Ben  13:15

Principal Richard Vernon, who, like, already is a problem, because this guy just treats these children--

Lexi  13:21

He's so horrible.

Ben  13:22

--and they are children, just awful. Yeah, just like a way that he would have lost his job if it was nowadays. There's no way he keeps his job past that weekend. There's no way he keeps his job past, like, his first interaction with, I think, Emilio Estevez with the stupid devil horns and, like, [in devil voice] "the rest of your natural born..." That'd be on TikTok. In, like, five minutes, there'd be a whole crowd of people knocking down his doors. The school board trustees, they'd be like, "Nah, you don't have a job anymore."

Lexi  13:46

And, as well they should. Like, you can't... There's one part in the movie where Judd Nelson's character--

Ben  13:53

Bender.

Lexi  13:54

--is playing basketball in the gym, and he's like, "I'm thinking about going out for a scholarship," and that's such a great point that, like, he could have just been like, "Okay, let's play," and then like, look, you're building relationship and you're not being a complete d-bag. Then, like, get to know him! Just play basketball with him. It's, literally, a Saturday, and you're sitting in your office. You may as well.

Ben  14:16

Yeah. Instead, he yells at him, if I remember correctly, and tells him he's never going anywhere.

Lexi  14:21

Yeah, that he's a, you know, piece of trash. Just, you don't talk to people that way. It's terrible. So, it's so, just, offensive to... You should never treat anyone like that, and you should never, 100%, have teachers speaking to students that way. That's just unacceptable.

Ben  14:38

The movie is in the National Film Registry of the Library of Congress, for its culturally, historically, and aesthetically significant nature, so that's something that I didn't just read off of Wikipedia.

Lexi  14:51

I mean, it is a huge part of culture that, kind of, changed the way that we, you know, talk about things.

Ben  14:57

Do you remember where the movie's set?

Lexi  15:00

They're all kind of set in the same...

Ben  15:03

Middle America.

Lexi  15:04

Yeah, like a Michigan kind of place.

Ben  15:08

Michigan is what I would guess. I have no idea. I can't remember any more. It's a very white cast, as well, which is interesting.

Lexi  15:15

Oh, yeah.

Ben  15:16

Yeah, what are some other egregious issues that we have with that one?

Lexi  15:19

Well, I don't like the way that Claire, so Molly Ringwald's character, she is berated, harassed by Bender the entire movie. He's got his head between her legs at one point, because he's hiding, and, at the end of the movie, she, like, goes and makes out with him and they become, like, boyfriend and girlfriend because he's wearing her earring and, like, you don't reward, like, a guy that treats you like trash, a person that treats you like trash. They're not gonna change. [laughs]

Ben  15:51

Yeah. I, 100%, remember it seeming, sort of, weird that that was, like, his reward for having some sort of character redemption is that Molly Ringwald will date him. And that's supposed to be character growth for her, is that she's not so stuck up anymore, she'll date somebody who's... poor and abusive?

Lexi  16:07

I guess? Or that, like, she's pushing back against her parents or... Like, I didn't really care for that part as much.

Ben  16:18

Yeah.

Lexi  16:18

But then, like, then you've got Claire and Allison, at one point, doing, like, makeovers and Allison's the kind of the quiet one who's the artist and the freak who's-- she's choosing to be at the detention instead of being sent there, and so Claire gives her the makeover and, all of a sudden, she's She's All That-ed. She's pretty, and now Emilio Estevez's character, Andrew, is, like, into her. If it wasn't for a lame... Before, he didn't see her, but as soon as Molly Ringwald puts some makeup on her, and pulled her hair back, well, now Allison's a person. I just thought like, "Ugh, that sends the wrong message."

Ben  16:55

Yeah.

Lexi  16:56

But, as a teenager, you're like, "Oh, that's how I get the attention of a boy."

Ben  17:01

Yeah, "I've gotta conform to beauty standards that are set out for me." Yeah, it's not great. It doesn't hold up. It feels wrong nowadays. I mean, it's really difficult to watch and think anything positive of it anymore.

Lexi  17:14

[laughs] The soundtrack was good.

Ben  17:16

Yeah, the soundtrack was good.

Lexi  17:17

But then John and I are having a conversation about that, and he's like, "Yeah, but at the time, that's what was a successful movie, and so, how fair is it for us to judge something from the past by today's standards?" Like, "Well, it's a difficult one. Like--"

Ben  17:33

Absolutely.

Lexi  17:34

I think we have to.

Ben  17:36

I mean, yeah, and also, like, what does that really mean, the idea of fair? Like, I mean, it feels sort of like the wrong question to apply to, sort of, reexamining past media. Like, you don't get a pass just because it was from the past.

Lexi  17:54

Yeah, there you go.

Ben  17:55

And the whole point of looking at something from the future is to reanalyze it from the scope that we have now. Like, you can do that and still acknowledge that, at the time, that general awareness of these sorts of things wasn't what it is now, but that's not really the point, I guess, is what I'm getting at.

Lexi  18:12

I can understand the criticism of like, yeah, you know, it's a questionable movie, but at the time, it was very progressive. And even now, like, I'm sure there are some TV shows, movies, books, whatever, that we think are pretty progressive that, in the future, people have problems with, but that's the point. Like, if we're all staying the exact same, that's the issue. Could we not be able to move forward, and then look back and be like, "Eugh. I shouldn't have done that"? Let's have a conversation about it.

Ben  18:37

I think the world and where it existed, and when it was made, is not where we are now. Like, that's not really the point. So Breakfast Club, like, none of these movies are really going to hold up to every standard that we have nowadays.

Lexi  18:47

No, it's impossible.

Ben  18:48

The bigger question is like, "Can I still enjoy this media the same way?" And you can't, especially... I mean, I don't think this movie, you can really... Like, I can watch it. I could enjoy parts of it, I suppose, but I don't know. I don't know if I really even would try to rewatch this movie. It used to come on TBS a lot, so we didn't have much of a choice, but...

Lexi  19:10

Yeah, I think now I would fast forward through a lot of it.

Ben  19:14

Yeah, I can't see myself going back to rewatch this, unlike a movie like "Footloose", which I still think is a fun watch. Same era, same sort of idea. There's a lot going on in that movie, too that's kind of effed up. Like, I think the main character, whose name I cannot remember, but it's Kevin Bacon, he moves to the small town where dancing and music is outlawed, and the girl that he falls for, her dad's abusive, her boyfriend's abusive, but I think, at one point, her boyfriend actually just punches her, and I'm just like, "Why would even?" Like, [sighs] in that sense, they're not trying to glorify that behavior necessarily, but it's... Yeah, so that's the interesting thing. Maybe that's what you gotta look at is the depiction of the thing in the movie something thing that they're doing as a "We're not thinking critically about this because that's the era we're from," or are they presenting it in that era, but they're saying, "This isn't a thing that should be happening," and that's a tough one. I can't remember that movie well enough. But I still like the dancin'.

Lexi  20:17

You like the dancin' part of it, hey?

Ben  20:19

Yep. Kevin Bacon, finally, in 2013, I think, admitted that he had a dance double for parts of that, but he did a lot of the dancing himself, he said.

Lexi  20:28

Did we not know that? I thought that that was widely accepted.

Ben  20:32

I don't know. It was just a thing I remember reading a while back, but yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like, that movie, I could rewatch again. I feel like it's worth going back for the dancing. I don't know what would bring me back to Breakfast Club, aside from the soundtrack, which I can just listen to on my own.

Lexi  20:46

Yeah, I would just listen to the s... Like, if it was on the TV.

Ben  20:50

I guess I like Emilio Estevez. I like Molly Ringwald. Like--

Lexi  20:53

Then watch "Mighty Ducks", Ben.

Ben  20:55

Yeah, and that's what I do. We're gonna have to do an episode on "The Mighty Ducks". I love "The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers" on Disney+.

Lexi  21:02

Oh, there you go. Yes.

Ben  21:04

Disney+ isn't sponsoring our show, but if they want to. [Lexi laughs] I like "Game Changers". It's a little weird. It's a little bit--

Lexi  21:13

I can't say that I've watched it, but, you know, I'll take a look-see.

Ben  21:17

Yeah. Oh, are we gonna do a "Dawson's Creek" episode or teen TV dramas of the 2000s? And those are-- a lot of those are trash but, like--

Lexi  21:26

Yes.

Ben  21:26

Yeah.

Lexi  21:27

I could talk about those, just "Smallville". Oh, my god. We need to talk about "Buffy". What are we doing, here?

Ben  21:32

That's an interesting one, like, 'cause, you know, 'cause you have to deal with the Joss Whedon. I call him Josh now. He lost his privilege at two "s"-es.

Lexi  21:41

You know, you strike an "s" off the name. Okay. We have to talk about Sixteen Candles, though, because it is the worst.

Ben  21:50

The worst. There is nothing--

Lexi  21:53

I think that a couple come close.

Ben  21:55

I could rewatch Breakfast Club, yeah. Like, I could re-watch Breakfast Club. There's a lot I don't like about it, and a lot that doesn't hold up, a lot of analysis of, sort of like, teen issues that doesn't really feel like it really got it, but I could rewatch it. I will not re-watch Sixteen Candles. I mean, give us a rundown. Give us the point-by-point. What's wrong with Sixteen Candles, aside from everything?

Lexi  22:17

If you've never watched Sixteen Candles before, don't. I will just run through it really quick. Basically, it's a party movie. Sam, play by Molly Ringwald, it's her birthday. It's her 16th birthday, but her entire family has basically forgotten, and she's really pissed off about the whole thing, so she's a real b-word all day at school. Meanwhile, she has this huge crush on this guy Jake Ryan who's, like, the quintessential hot dude of the school.

Ben  22:42

The perfect dude. Yeah.

Lexi  22:44

And, like, everyone of their little friend group is just like, "No, he's got such a hot girlfriend." They even show her showering naked in the girls' change room to really hammer home the fact that this lady is like a full-blown babe.

Ben  22:59

Wait. I do not remember this part of the movie. There's a naked scene of Molly Ringworld as a teenager?

Lexi  23:06

Yeah. Not Molly Ringwald. It was the girlfriend.

Ben  23:08

Oh, I'm sorry. I missed that.

Lexi  23:10

Molly Ringwald and her creepy friend... It's so creepy. They're leering and watching her shower because Molly Ringwald is comparing her chest to Jake Ryan's girlfriend to be like, "Oh, she's such a... She's a woman and I'm a girl. Why would he ever pay attention to me?" because boobs are the only thing that matter, apparently.

Ben  23:10

Mm.

Lexi  23:30

And then, meanwhile, so at the same time, Sam, Molly Ringwald, her grandparents come to her house, and they bring their foreign exchange student.

Ben  23:41

No. We can't even get into the foreign exchange student. It's so bad.

Lexi  23:45

It's so bad. I'm not even gonna. Like, you can go look it up. I'm not gonna say his name because it makes me feel uncomfortable, if I'm honest, but it's like a derogatory name that is just, like, it's just so offensive, and every time he's--

Ben  23:58

It's intended to mimic what white people make as sounds when they try to, you know, do Asian voices or language, and it's just a continuous shit show of racism.

Lexi  24:12

Oh, Ben, every time the character is on the screen, a gong sounds.

Ben  24:15

Yeah, I remember that part.

Lexi  24:16

Like, oh. [groans frustratedly] So then, Sam goes to the dance because she still has a thing for Jake, and she has to bring people with her, and now enter Michael C. Hall.

Ben  24:17

Oh, he's Ducky, right?

Lexi  24:31

And his creepy little character because... No, that's "Pretty In Pink". Come on. Jesus Christ, Lexi. Get your shit together.

Ben  24:39

Oh, god. I'm mixing up movies. Well, I'm sorry that all good John Hughes movies start to blend together after a while. [Lexi laughs] Sorry, I can't specify which Molly Ringwald film we're talking about. She wears the same thing in every movie, too.

Lexi  24:51

No. She...

Ben  24:52

She looks exactly the same.

Lexi  24:53

She... Well, yeah, that's good.

Ben  24:54

I'm pretty sure she's in a pink dress in every movie.

Lexi  24:56

Okay, I will accept that. Anthony Michael Hall's character is Ted, and they refer to him as "Farmer Ted" the entire movie, which I don't really understand why that's the thing.

Ben  25:06

Oh, he's the one that gets sent home with what's-her-face?

Lexi  25:09

Yes.

Ben  25:10

Right? When she's drunk, and he, basically...

Lexi  25:11

Yeah, right?

Ben  25:13

It's a date rape situation. How fun.

Lexi  25:15

Well, and first, like, he won't leave Sam alone at the dance. He keeps following her around, won't take no for an answer, and she basically has to barter with him to piss off by giving him her panties. So... And then he pretends that he like got them, however, and is cheered on by, like, a full bathroom full of dorks-- not our people-- but then this devolves into a party at Jake's house. Everybody kind of winds up at this Jake's house party, where Jake's girlfriend is drunk and kind of an asshole. He kicks them all out and gives Ted the keys to his car, and his passed-out girlfriend in the backseat, and long story short, he winds up making out with her when she comes to, eventually.

Ben  25:59

Yeah, I remember that.

Lexi  26:00

And, when she asks, "Did you take advantage of me?" and he said, "No,"  and she was like, "Cool." [laughs] Like, what?!

Ben  26:08

Wait. Don't they actually end up, like, doing it in that movie? And neither of them remember it, or am I thinking of another movie again?

Lexi  26:15

It could. You know what?

Ben  26:16

Remember that they, like--

Lexi  26:17

I haven't seen it in a while.

Ben  26:18

"I don't remember if we did it or not," and then they're both like, "Yeah, we did it," and it's like, that's supposed to be cool or something, and I'm like-- and, like, a virtuous moments where--

Lexi  26:24

That does sound about right.

Ben  26:25

Yeah, I remember throwing up. Like, I don't think that movie even sat well with me in the '90s when I was a teen, seeing it for the first time. I was like...

Lexi  26:32

[whispers] No.

Ben  26:34

"..eugh." Yeah,  Sixteen Candles is gross. What else? Is there anything else gross about  Sixteen Candles that we need to mention before we move on? Don't rewatch Sixteen Candles. It's no good.

Lexi  26:42

Don't. Well, it ends with Sam getting Jake and he gets her a birthday cake, and, you know, it's this beautiful moment between the two of them, but it's just like, she spent the entire movie comparing herself to other people, about how she was shit and not good enough for him, and he spends the entire movie pissed off at the world that he lives in because he's, like, this wealthy, white dude with a dumb girlfriend, and he's brutal to her. Like, he's really mean to his girlfriend, like, sends her off to be, like, you know, ravaged by some stranger.

Ben  27:15

Yeah. He sends her off to get raped.

Lexi  27:17

Yeah. And then it's like, "Okay, movie over."

Ben  27:19

Yeah, and I remember him also saying like, a bunch of really crass shit to her before, because she's drunk, and being like, "I could abuse you all I want if I wanted to. Yeah, it's super fucked-up and that's supposed to be a virtue for this guy--

Lexi  27:31

Yeah, he's the good one.

Ben  27:32

--that he looks down on her for being drunk.

Lexi  27:34

Oh.

Ben  27:35

Yeah. Fuckin' dumpster fire movie, and so this is why, like, people, you bring these up and they'll be like, "I fucking hate Ron Hughes." Yeah, Ron Hughes. I don't know who that is, but I hate him, too, just for sounding like John Hughes. [Lexi laughs] Fuck you, Ron.

Lexi  27:50

But, I think it's also like, the genre of, like, rom coms. Like, eugh. This is where it's kind of like stemmed from some of these teen movies . People think, "Like, this is maybe like the norm?" Like, "No, it isn't. This isn't good."

Ben  28:04

What's next on our on our shit shower?

Lexi  28:07

"Weird Science".

Ben  28:09

Are we doing "Pretty in Pink" at some point?

Lexi  28:11

"Pretty in Pink", technically, comes after "Weird Science". "Weird Science" was released in 1985.

Ben  28:16

Oh, we're doing these chronologically? Okay, my bad. Okay, "Weird Science" it is. So like, are we even gonna find teen... Like, John Hughes defined this era and defined what it meant to be a teen in this era, so I guess we may not get away from his movies. I mean, "Footloose" wasn't one of his, so that was good, but that's wild. It's basically just a John Hughes shit episode. Fuck you, John Hughes.

Lexi  28:37

But, no. I've got some redeeming ones.

Ben  28:40

And your brother, Ron. From John Hughes? I don't agree.

Lexi  28:44

I've got one. I got a couple that I'm gonna fight for, saying they're good.

Ben  28:47

What? Okay, you're gonna have to try real hard to make me like john Hughes in any capacity. "Weird Science", let's just get the premise out of the way. These two losers decide that they're going to robo-code their-- I'm just gonna use fake science words 'cause that's what they do in this movie-- they're gonna robo-code their digi-ideal woman and build her to be perfect and subservient to them. The whole premise is fucked up and weird and gross, and then, through the magic of--

Lexi  29:11

Yeah, the magic of science.

Ben  29:12

--science, I don't know, this woman comes true. She's there. Suddenly, they built her, and they can do anything they want with their new robo-girl or whatever. [Lexi sighs]

Lexi  29:24

And... [groans].

Ben  29:25

The only thing that's redeeming is a nice title song written by Oingo Boingo, the new-wave band from the '80s.

Lexi  29:32

Ah, Oingo Boingo. Yep. I know that it was this whole, you know, the dorks or the geeks strike back where like Revenge of the Nerds and that was also another popular problematic movie of the era, of just, like, dorks who aren't... You know, it's basically like  these, the nice guys, the incels.

Ben  29:52

Incels.

Lexi  29:53

They can't get-- no girls will pay attention to them 'cause they're not popular jocks. Wah, wah, wah. So what we're gonna do--

Ben  29:59

No, this is great. I like this line we're riding. I like this. This is, we are what's-his-face from It's Always Sunny.

Lexi  30:07

Dennis?

Ben  30:08

No. Not Dennis. We're not Dennis. Nobody's Dennis. Dennis is a sociopath.

Lexi  30:11

I was gonna say.

Ben  30:12

Ferris Bueller is Dennis.

Lexi  30:13

He's a serial killer.

Ben  30:15

Well, that's--

Lexi  30:16

Mac?

Ben  30:16

No, not Mac. Goddamn. Charlie.

Lexi  30:18

Charlie?

Ben  30:19

We're Charlie at the wall with the line, and we have just gone from John Hughes movies to the nice-guy phenomenon, and then straight on past that to the incel, the current incel disgusting thing that we have going on.

Lexi  30:35

Well, all of like...

Ben  30:36

It's all Ron and John Hughes'