The pain you feel due to difficulties with your child can be divided into two categories: self-centered and child-centered. This episode gives a simple test to help you sort out which of your pains belongs to each category. Self-centered pain is due to your own feelings about your situation. The feelings originate from you, so it is within your control to change your outlook so as to reduce this pain. A professional counselor can help you with this. Child-centered pain is due to the child's own situation and behavior. You cannot change another person, e.g. your child, but you can channel your pain into helping others who are in pain. Several suggestions are presented on ways that you can use your pain to help others.