Self-blame is what a parent might feel if he or she has difficulites with his or her child. It is natural to feel, "I should have...", "I could have....", etc., but this is wrong for two reasons. First, the way your child turned out is due largely to your own influence, but is also due to many other factors in your child's life. So, any negative qualities your child has are not due entirely to your influence. Second, remember that what you know and understand now about relating to people is a result of your experiences in life, including your experiences with your child. But you didn't know these things when your child was much younger, so don't blame yourself for what you didn't know at that time. Set aside fixed times to contemplate what you can do better, and the rest of the time, enjoy your life!